May 7th Journal

There is so many times and memories I can remember laughing at the worse times and I have gotten called out on the spot for it. There was a time where my parents were punishing my older sister for getting a ticket and hiding car parts in her trunk because she had crashed into a bush & she was just crying nonstop. For some reason , they made me stay there to watch them lecture her and when they started to lecture her , I began to laugh , I don’t well when people are crying in front of me because I just feel so awkward and so uncomfortable because I don’t know what to do or say to make them feel any better and they were trying to calm me down and compose myself and I just couldn’t and when My sister got more upset because I was laughing - she got more mad and crying more I laughed harder. It’s literally really bad , I will laugh when my parents try to lecture me about something , when someone gets mad at me , when someone is crying , etc. t’s just really weird but It’s just my way of feeling uncomfortable and awkward. I don’t mean it in bad way at all - I think it’s my way of saying I’m sorry , over the years my whole family just accepted it. Another example is when I get hurt physically & if it hurts - I will seriously laugh no matter how bad it is I have no idea why but it’s just the way I am or maybe how shocking something can be. I once laughed at myself when I got stitches underneath my chin and everyone was crying and freaking out and I remember my parents telling me I always laugh at the worse situations and inappropriate times.